Archive for the ‘Building Confidence’ Category
Striving for perfection can keep you from enjoying life, undermine your relationships, severely drain your energy and your self-esteem. For many it's a habit, started early in childhood, and can be difficult to change, but a little bit of effort can go a long way toward changing the pattern of perfectionism. Here are 8 strategies for stopping the quest for perfection:
1. Weigh the cons and costs
List all of the ways in which your perfectionism is hurting you, your family and friends. This exercise will help motivate you to make a change.
2. Take note
Try to document your perfectionist, negative thoughts throughout the day. If this is impractical, then at the end of the day think back on your day, remember any feelings of failure or inadequacy, and write down your thoughts at the time. That way, you'll become more aware of these detrimental thoughts when they resurface.
3. Think positive
Mitigate your tendency to focus on the negative by making a conscious effort to notice all that is good about your own and others' efforts. If you notice something negative about yourself or your work, find five or so positive qualities to counterbalance those thoughts.
4. Change your inner voice
Silence (or at least muffle) that negative self-talk by taking some concrete steps to change your focus. For example:
- Keep a journal of your thoughts and examine them later
- Stop negative thoughts in their tracks by literally saying "stop" in your head when such a thought arises
- Keep a rubber-band around your wrist and snap it when negative self-talk starts
- Replace negative statements with milder, neutral or positive statements
- Change negative statements to questions - for example, "I can't do this!" could become "How can I do this?"
5. Take baby steps
Instead of setting unreasonable goals as perfectionists tend to do, reduce your big goals into smaller, bite-sized objectives, and reward yourself when you meet them. This will help you forgive your mistakes more easily, helps you to enjoy the process, and actually increases the likelihood that you'll achieve your big goal.
6. Stop and smell the roses
Focus less on results and more on the process of reaching your goals. Some ways to do this might include joining a group working toward the same goal or keeping a journal of your feelings and what you learn along the way. Even if you don't meet your goal, you can look back and see what you have gained in just working toward a goal.
7. Take criticism constructively
Instead of perceiving criticism as an attack and reacting defensively, receive it as a helpful suggestion for improving your performance. Then your less-than-perfect performances can become stepping stones toward achieving excellence.
8. Look at the big picture
Concentrate less on the little imperfections and more on what matters. For example, giving a birthday party for a friend matters much more than the fact that your dishes didn't match your tablecloth.
So give yourself a break, embrace your gifts and talents, and correct those little lies that run through your head. A concerted - but not necessarily perfect! - effort to change your perfectionist habits will go a long way toward achieving your ultimate goal: a happier you.
Deanna Maio, Business Trainer & Coach, teaches business owners simple, powerful processes to stop wasting time and start making more money, and create a business that acts as a vehicle for living the life they desire and deserve. For FREE tips on how to increase your income and use your valuable time more wisely, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
Teaching at a rock and roll music camp for 7-14 year olds this week taught me (or reminded me) of some valuable lessons that can help us to running successful businesses. In this, the first article in a two part series, I'll share 3 lessons you can learn from rock camp and how you can start applying them to your business.
Lesson #1: Life is short. Have fun!
While this lesson may seem cliche, it became so clear for me just after the first few moments of being with my eager young students. Laughing, giggling, joking is innate in kids and isn't something they need to plan for, schedule in, or "make time for." Imagine how challenges, obstacles, or decisions would be easier to manage and handle if we just injected a little bit more fun into our businesses. Here are some ideas on how to have more fun at work, whether you work alone, with others, at home, or in an office.
- Write a joke on a post-it and tell it to those who call you or you call during the day
- Before making a difficult call or one you've been putting off, start laughing for no reason for at least 10 seconds, no matter how forced it may feel, then stop and dial
- Dress up one day in a silly outfit. Be a clown, pirate, hobo, or punk rocker. Look at yourself in the mirror often and remember what it felt like to be a kid
- Color in a coloring book, finger paint, make music on a kazoo, or do a dance when you are feeling stressed. You'll release creativity and energy will flow in a more positive direction
Lesson #2: Practice Makes Progress
Each day at camp, each band (there were four) not only practiced their instruments but, also got together for band rehearsal. In 5 days each band will play 3 new songs, and sing on 2 new ones too. Plus, they'll write one collectively as a group. Whether it's playing music, having sales conversations, or introducing yourself at a networking event, practice is KEY to having a great performance. Repetition is the mother of all learning. The more we do anything, if we practice noticing what worked and what didn't, we will improve.
- Read your 10 second introduction or elevator speech out loud every day in front of the mirror
- Call a friend and ask them to practice being a prospect. Walk through your qualifying questions or "free consultation" process with them
- Get dressed in your networking clothes and go to a new networking event. Set a goal to meet 3 new people and try to connect them with one person within your network that would be a good referral partner for them
- Meet with a colleague to practice overcoming sales objections that you might hear from a prospect. Be realistic and offer each other feedback after each role play.
Lesson #3: Classics Never Go Out of Style
This week the bands are playing some of my favorite rock and roll tunes: Twist and Shout, Joy to the World (Three Dog Night, not the carol,) Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, and Hey Jude. These songs are expertly written and well loved by hundreds of thousands of music lovers. They were chosen for the show because they are songs that would be entertaining and enjoyed by the audience and the bands playing and singing them. How does this apply to your business? 2 things, actually. Give your audience what they want. Here are some thoughts how...
- Ask your favorite clients what they'd like to see from you in terms of new products or services. Survey them as a group, call and ask them three short questions to get their feedback, find trends in their answers, create what they want or find someone to offer it to them
- Don't waste time creating a new product, service, or package and then marketing it if you aren't absolutely sure your target market wants it. (It doesn't count if you think they need it, if they haven't told you they want it too.)
- Remind your target market, current clients, and your past clients of all the services you provide. Send them a note every once in awhile to remind them and make an offer to work with you again. Don't let repeat business fall through the cracks because you've become invisible to them.
- Review the services you provide and find new ways to offer them. Usually work in person, consider working by phone to reach more people. Usually work one on one, consider doing a group program or a one day workshop. See ways to offer the same or similar results and leverage your time by using a different delivery model and you could start reaping the rewards of working smarter in no time.
With these three rock camp lessons, you'll start to feel a new creativity, flow, and rhythm in your business and move closer to being the business rock star you were born to be.
Deanna Maio, Business Trainer & Coach, teaches business owners simple, powerful processes to stop wasting time, start making more money, and create a business that acts as a vehicle for living the life they desire and deserve. For FREE tips on how to increase your income and use your valuable time more wisely, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
Confidence is a skill that can be developed over time. With some increased awareness and focus, building confidence can be quick, easy, and believe it or not, painless. Check out these tips to get more confident in any situation, including promoting your business.
1. Hire someone to balance out your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these non-strengths are and put a plan in place to hire an employee, contractor, or academic intern to manage these things for you.
2. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!
3. Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
4. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
5. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.
6. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
7. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.
8. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language.
9. Emotion is created by motion. Make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
10. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are. It gets easier with practice and can bring you very positive attention with prospects and clients.
And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter? Your assignment: Pick on strategy to try this week. Start each day with the intention of using that strategy and keep a journal of your observations, feelings, and thoughts.
Deanna Maio, Business Trainer & Coach, teaches business owners simple, powerful processes to stop wasting time and start making more money, and create a business that acts as a vehicle for living the life they desire and deserve. For FREE tips on how to increase your income and use your valuable time more wisely, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
As an entrepreneur you may hear a lot about networking and wonder what all the hubbub is about. Networking, both online and off, is a wonderful way to build connections in your industry. It's a terrific way to increase awareness, build your customer base and ultimately boost your profits. However, you probably know that already. What you may not know is that networking is also a wonderful way to motivate yourself.
Impress Them
Networking pushes you to be at your absolute best. If you’re putting forth the effort to network, you’ll want to stand out. So when you communicate with the public, strive to make your first impression peerless, by being ready, willing and able to give them an informative and inspirational pitch about your business.
Connections Count
You never know where you'll meet your next business partner, a superior customer or one of those coveted 'Paul Revere type' of individuals who spreads news faster than CNN. If you meet a 'Paul Revere' and can get them excited about your business, you’ve just launched your business into a whole new arena.
Moves You Forward
Because networking is usually a scheduled event, it accomplishes two things. It drives you to prepare before you head to the website or event. And it pushes you too put some serious thought into how you present yourself both online and off. Networking forces you to think about your business, where it’s going, what your future plans are, and how you want to be perceived.
Ideas Ignited
For most people, networking with other successful people sparks their competitive spirit. We see other successful people and think, “If they can do that, so can I.” We hear great ideas, product launches, marketing tactics and business strategies and we think, “How can I do this too? Hearing the stories of others is very motivating!
Mindset Shifts
Finally, networking both online and off (though online networking can be done in your pajamas with unruly hair and un-brushed teeth) makes us feel and act more professionally. For the most part, the simple act of being a professional makes us feel more professional. We start to feel less like a person who works at home in their pajamas and more like a business person, a CEO, and most importantly, a successful entrepreneur.
Deanna Maio, Business Coach & Consultant, teaches women business owners how to attract more clients, make more sales, stop wasting time, and create a business that acts as a vehicle for living the life they desire and deserve. For FREE tips on how to increase your income and client base in your business, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
If there's one thing I hear from clients, friends, family, and heck, just people I meet it's that they want more confidence. Maybe it's more confidence in themselves, in their marketing skills, when they present or speak in front of a group, when they are preparing to have a 'sales' conversation with a prospect, or before talking with someone they really admire or respect. So, here are 10 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence, starting today. Here we go:
- Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behavior. It works for them; it will work for you.
- Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
- Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.
- Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
- Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, what are you waiting for? Get to it.
- Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
- Delegate your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and find others who love to do this work (and are probably better at it than you are, anyway) Hire a specialist, outsource to a virtual assistant, a member of your team, or ask a friend to help.
- Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.
- Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
- Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
Deanna Maio, Business Development Strategist & Speaker, teaches women business owners how to grow their business significantly while still having time to live a great life. For FREE tips on how to get more results without working harder, attract more clients, and grow your profits, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
