Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category
Striving for perfection can keep you from enjoying life, undermine your relationships, severely drain your energy and your self-esteem. For many it's a habit, started early in childhood, and can be difficult to change, but a little bit of effort can go a long way toward changing the pattern of perfectionism. Here are 8 strategies for stopping the quest for perfection:
1. Weigh the cons and costs
List all of the ways in which your perfectionism is hurting you, your family and friends. This exercise will help motivate you to make a change.
2. Take note
Try to document your perfectionist, negative thoughts throughout the day. If this is impractical, then at the end of the day think back on your day, remember any feelings of failure or inadequacy, and write down your thoughts at the time. That way, you'll become more aware of these detrimental thoughts when they resurface.
3. Think positive
Mitigate your tendency to focus on the negative by making a conscious effort to notice all that is good about your own and others' efforts. If you notice something negative about yourself or your work, find five or so positive qualities to counterbalance those thoughts.
4. Change your inner voice
Silence (or at least muffle) that negative self-talk by taking some concrete steps to change your focus. For example:
- Keep a journal of your thoughts and examine them later
- Stop negative thoughts in their tracks by literally saying "stop" in your head when such a thought arises
- Keep a rubber-band around your wrist and snap it when negative self-talk starts
- Replace negative statements with milder, neutral or positive statements
- Change negative statements to questions - for example, "I can't do this!" could become "How can I do this?"
5. Take baby steps
Instead of setting unreasonable goals as perfectionists tend to do, reduce your big goals into smaller, bite-sized objectives, and reward yourself when you meet them. This will help you forgive your mistakes more easily, helps you to enjoy the process, and actually increases the likelihood that you'll achieve your big goal.
6. Stop and smell the roses
Focus less on results and more on the process of reaching your goals. Some ways to do this might include joining a group working toward the same goal or keeping a journal of your feelings and what you learn along the way. Even if you don't meet your goal, you can look back and see what you have gained in just working toward a goal.
7. Take criticism constructively
Instead of perceiving criticism as an attack and reacting defensively, receive it as a helpful suggestion for improving your performance. Then your less-than-perfect performances can become stepping stones toward achieving excellence.
8. Look at the big picture
Concentrate less on the little imperfections and more on what matters. For example, giving a birthday party for a friend matters much more than the fact that your dishes didn't match your tablecloth.
So give yourself a break, embrace your gifts and talents, and correct those little lies that run through your head. A concerted - but not necessarily perfect! - effort to change your perfectionist habits will go a long way toward achieving your ultimate goal: a happier you.
Deanna Maio, Business Trainer & Coach, teaches business owners simple, powerful processes to stop wasting time and start making more money, and create a business that acts as a vehicle for living the life they desire and deserve. For FREE tips on how to increase your income and use your valuable time more wisely, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
Teaching at a rock and roll music camp for 7-14 year olds this week taught me (or reminded me) of some valuable lessons that can help us to running successful businesses. In this, the first article in a two part series, I'll share 3 lessons you can learn from rock camp and how you can start applying them to your business.
Lesson #1: Life is short. Have fun!
While this lesson may seem cliche, it became so clear for me just after the first few moments of being with my eager young students. Laughing, giggling, joking is innate in kids and isn't something they need to plan for, schedule in, or "make time for." Imagine how challenges, obstacles, or decisions would be easier to manage and handle if we just injected a little bit more fun into our businesses. Here are some ideas on how to have more fun at work, whether you work alone, with others, at home, or in an office.
- Write a joke on a post-it and tell it to those who call you or you call during the day
- Before making a difficult call or one you've been putting off, start laughing for no reason for at least 10 seconds, no matter how forced it may feel, then stop and dial
- Dress up one day in a silly outfit. Be a clown, pirate, hobo, or punk rocker. Look at yourself in the mirror often and remember what it felt like to be a kid
- Color in a coloring book, finger paint, make music on a kazoo, or do a dance when you are feeling stressed. You'll release creativity and energy will flow in a more positive direction
Lesson #2: Practice Makes Progress
Each day at camp, each band (there were four) not only practiced their instruments but, also got together for band rehearsal. In 5 days each band will play 3 new songs, and sing on 2 new ones too. Plus, they'll write one collectively as a group. Whether it's playing music, having sales conversations, or introducing yourself at a networking event, practice is KEY to having a great performance. Repetition is the mother of all learning. The more we do anything, if we practice noticing what worked and what didn't, we will improve.
- Read your 10 second introduction or elevator speech out loud every day in front of the mirror
- Call a friend and ask them to practice being a prospect. Walk through your qualifying questions or "free consultation" process with them
- Get dressed in your networking clothes and go to a new networking event. Set a goal to meet 3 new people and try to connect them with one person within your network that would be a good referral partner for them
- Meet with a colleague to practice overcoming sales objections that you might hear from a prospect. Be realistic and offer each other feedback after each role play.
Lesson #3: Classics Never Go Out of Style
This week the bands are playing some of my favorite rock and roll tunes: Twist and Shout, Joy to the World (Three Dog Night, not the carol,) Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, and Hey Jude. These songs are expertly written and well loved by hundreds of thousands of music lovers. They were chosen for the show because they are songs that would be entertaining and enjoyed by the audience and the bands playing and singing them. How does this apply to your business? 2 things, actually. Give your audience what they want. Here are some thoughts how...
- Ask your favorite clients what they'd like to see from you in terms of new products or services. Survey them as a group, call and ask them three short questions to get their feedback, find trends in their answers, create what they want or find someone to offer it to them
- Don't waste time creating a new product, service, or package and then marketing it if you aren't absolutely sure your target market wants it. (It doesn't count if you think they need it, if they haven't told you they want it too.)
- Remind your target market, current clients, and your past clients of all the services you provide. Send them a note every once in awhile to remind them and make an offer to work with you again. Don't let repeat business fall through the cracks because you've become invisible to them.
- Review the services you provide and find new ways to offer them. Usually work in person, consider working by phone to reach more people. Usually work one on one, consider doing a group program or a one day workshop. See ways to offer the same or similar results and leverage your time by using a different delivery model and you could start reaping the rewards of working smarter in no time.
With these three rock camp lessons, you'll start to feel a new creativity, flow, and rhythm in your business and move closer to being the business rock star you were born to be.
Deanna Maio, Business Trainer & Coach, teaches business owners simple, powerful processes to stop wasting time, start making more money, and create a business that acts as a vehicle for living the life they desire and deserve. For FREE tips on how to increase your income and use your valuable time more wisely, visit http://www.savvygals.com/
